Last Wednesday marked the 30th year of my life on this earth. Leading up to that daunting day, I felt a flurry of mixed emotions....anxiety, excitement, nostalgia, mourning, fear, hope.
The night prior, I recounted the ups and downs of my twenties. Falling asleep alone in my 20th floor apartment in downtown Austin, I wondered what the next day would feel like to me.
As my eyes slipped open around 6am for my morning run before a jam-packed day of fun with family and friends, I knew instantly how my thirties would feel: free.
Free of what? Not understanding my identity and my purpose. And the insecurities that come with that.
My high school Catholic theology teacher taught my class that, "The meaning of life is to search for the meaning of life." My head spun in circles with that one for weeks. Or maybe years, since I still remember it with crystal clarity.
The Puritans said: "The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."
I have believed that answer to be accurate for several years, but now I don't wrestle with it quite like I did in my twenties.
What freedom that purpose brings. It tells me exactly what to do: do what God has entrusted to me, today, and do it well.
Why?
Because Jesus is worth it. He is worth all of my mind's attention and heart's affection.
And He is better. He is better than me chasing the wind, running the rat race, searching for an earthly passion.
And so, I simply desire to do well the work He has put before me, with the sole intention of enjoying Him as I do it, and doing it for Him.
Not for me. Not for the next shiny object or the next stepping stone. Not to satisfy my intellectual hunger or emotional longing.
For shiny objects are illusions, stepping stones make me weary, and only He can satisfy. He IS better. What freedom He brings.
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