Last Wednesday marked the 30th year of my life on this earth. Leading up to that daunting day, I felt a flurry of mixed emotions....anxiety, excitement, nostalgia, mourning, fear, hope.
The night prior, I recounted the ups and downs of my twenties. Falling asleep alone in my 20th floor apartment in downtown Austin, I wondered what the next day would feel like to me.
As my eyes slipped open around 6am for my morning run before a jam-packed day of fun with family and friends, I knew instantly how my thirties would feel: free.
Free of what? Not understanding my identity and my purpose. And the insecurities that come with that.
My high school Catholic theology teacher taught my class that, "The meaning of life is to search for the meaning of life." My head spun in circles with that one for weeks. Or maybe years, since I still remember it with crystal clarity.
The Puritans said: "The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."
I have believed that answer to be accurate for several years, but now I don't wrestle with it quite like I did in my twenties.
What freedom that purpose brings. It tells me exactly what to do: do what God has entrusted to me, today, and do it well.
Why?
Because Jesus is worth it. He is worth all of my mind's attention and heart's affection.
And He is better. He is better than me chasing the wind, running the rat race, searching for an earthly passion.
And so, I simply desire to do well the work He has put before me, with the sole intention of enjoying Him as I do it, and doing it for Him.
Not for me. Not for the next shiny object or the next stepping stone. Not to satisfy my intellectual hunger or emotional longing.
For shiny objects are illusions, stepping stones make me weary, and only He can satisfy. He IS better. What freedom He brings.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Sunday, March 2, 2014
What does it mean?
"Double rainbow...what does it mean?" We all laughed at that YouTube video that went viral a few years ago. I laugh too, but I also cringe in pain. I know what it means. And the guy asking does not, apparently. You can hear the searching, the desperate longing to know in his voice.
God tells us in Genesis 9. The rainbow is the sign of the covenant between God and all life on the earth!
I say that I "became a Christian" at 19. What does that mean?
At 19, it meant to me that I had accepted the undeserved gift of salvation. How did I think I could somehow earn it on my own?
But then....it didn't stop there:
At 20, I experienced Jesus as the Lover of my soul while I mended a broken heart. How could I search for that kind of love anywhere else?
At 21, I put my trust in God in an even deeper way as I stepped out into the working world. How could I trust in anything else?
At 22, I saw Jehovah-Rapha, my Healer work mightily. How can I say miracles don't happen today?
At 23, I discovered in a new way how God was my Jehovah-Jireh, my Provider. What would I do without His perfect provision?
At 24, I gave glory to the Lord, my Banner (Jehovah-Nissi), as He called me to things far beyond my capability. How could I have ever thought I could do it on my own?
At 25, I realized that Christ offers us abundant life, not just salvation. How could I settle for a mediocre life on earth?
At 26, I was amazed by God's majesty and power -- He is as Jehovah-Sabaoth, the Lord of Hosts. Whom shall I fear?
At 27, I that He is my Everything; He is all I need. How could I think anything else would satisfy me?
At 28, it meant that the Lord is always with me. How could I fear that He might give up on me?
At 29, it means that the Lord transforms me -- for He is my Jehovah-Mekoddishkem, the Lord who sanctifies me. And what else will it mean for me this year?
Oh how I wish the double rainbow guy knew what God's covenant with His children means.
What does "being a Christian" mean to you in this season?
God tells us in Genesis 9. The rainbow is the sign of the covenant between God and all life on the earth!
I say that I "became a Christian" at 19. What does that mean?
At 19, it meant to me that I had accepted the undeserved gift of salvation. How did I think I could somehow earn it on my own?
But then....it didn't stop there:
At 20, I experienced Jesus as the Lover of my soul while I mended a broken heart. How could I search for that kind of love anywhere else?
At 21, I put my trust in God in an even deeper way as I stepped out into the working world. How could I trust in anything else?
At 22, I saw Jehovah-Rapha, my Healer work mightily. How can I say miracles don't happen today?
At 23, I discovered in a new way how God was my Jehovah-Jireh, my Provider. What would I do without His perfect provision?
At 24, I gave glory to the Lord, my Banner (Jehovah-Nissi), as He called me to things far beyond my capability. How could I have ever thought I could do it on my own?
At 25, I realized that Christ offers us abundant life, not just salvation. How could I settle for a mediocre life on earth?
At 26, I was amazed by God's majesty and power -- He is as Jehovah-Sabaoth, the Lord of Hosts. Whom shall I fear?
At 27, I that He is my Everything; He is all I need. How could I think anything else would satisfy me?
At 28, it meant that the Lord is always with me. How could I fear that He might give up on me?
At 29, it means that the Lord transforms me -- for He is my Jehovah-Mekoddishkem, the Lord who sanctifies me. And what else will it mean for me this year?
Oh how I wish the double rainbow guy knew what God's covenant with His children means.
What does "being a Christian" mean to you in this season?
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